10 Things I learned today, at home ALL BY MYSELF

For the past 13 years, I have had children at home with me.
All.  the.  time.
And before that, I worked.
And before that, I was a student.
So I've never really been at home ALL BY MYSELF during the day.
And it's a little weird.
But also educational.

So here are some things I have learned today, after I dropped ALL FOUR of my babies off at school. (sniff, sniff)

1.  Packing 4 lunches takes a really long time in the morning.  I need to get help with that.
2.  Though I've been told I will enjoy it, the quietness of my empty house freaks me out.  I prefer having little voices around.
3.  My clock ticks REALLY loud.  I've never noticed it before.
4.  The dogs are good listeners.  And.......they agree with everything I say.
5.  I can buy groceries WITHOUT pushing the gigantic double shopping cart.  Though I admit I got excited when I saw that there was one available, because my boy always asks for one as we head toward the entrance. But I quickly realized I didn't need one today.  Kinda made me sad.  Kinda made me glad.  Those buggies are HARD to push.
6.  I can eat lunch on the couch and watch anything I want on T.V.
7.  There is NOTHING on T.V. during the day.  Nothing.  Which makes eating on the couch a lot less fun.
8.  I need to paint my walls.
9.  The house stays remarkably clean when I'm the only one here.
10.  New seasons in life are hard.  I'm trying to focus on the good things about this new season.  And now I have time to blog again.  :)

Redecorating

Not long ago we drove up on a car accident that had just happened.  As we drove away from the site, my four year old, concerned about the people who were hurt, asked me a question that has lingered in my mind.  "Mommy, if you get in a wreck, and your face gets hurt, does God redecorate you? Can God redecorate you face?"

The fact that a four year old boy uses the word redecorate is proof that he lives with LOTS of females. :)

But oh how I love him and how his precious little mind works.

I have never heard anyone phrase it like that, and it stuck with me.

God is definitely in the "redecorating" business. Physically, if He chooses to.  But also He loves to redecorate a heart, a mind, an attitude, and a whole life.

And quite often, we all need a bit of redecorating in our lives.

"Anyone who is in Christ is a new creation.  The old has gone.  The new has come."
 ~2 Corinthians 5:17

Christmas Eve

It's Christmas Eve afternoon.

I am sitting in the living room with my two "big" girls. One is on the computer playing Webkinz, and one is sitting beside me, licking a candy cane so loudly, that I'm sure Santa can hear it in his sleigh across the world from us.

We are just enjoying the unusually lazy afternoon, and I am feeling grateful that I am not out last minute shopping with the crazies out there. I'm fairly certain my nerves could not handle that today.

We are looking forward to a wonderful Christmas day tomorrow. Excited, of course, about the Christmas morning festivities, but also so happy to have family here with us to celebrate our Savior's birth.

Merry Christmas!!!!

It's That Time of Year....

So we went to the mall this past weekend.

And by we, I mean myself and the four children.
We went to the mall on the weekend before Christmas.
Further proof that my mental state is in question. As if further proof was needed.

The kids received a gift from their grandparents in Texas and we had to complete it. They each got an unstuffed Build-a-Bear, and a gift card, so we spent a long time at the furry friend store. And actually had a lot of fun. It really was a neat gift idea, and all four of them LOVED it!

When we were on the elevator, a well meaning lady started talking to my kids. She asked them, with great enthusiasm, if they had gotten to see Santa yet. To which all four kids just stared at her blankly, as if they hadn't just waved at Santa and talked about how they were glad we weren't in the nine-mile-line to sit on his lap. No response. None. At. All.

So I answered her politely and said, "We waved to him." She shot me a look as though I must be horrible for not taking my children to sit on Santa's lap. It was easy to see she felt sorry for them for missing such an opportunity.

I started to explain to her that we never go see Santa.
Never.

Not for any religious reason, or belief or anything.

But just because every single time for the last 10 years that we have tried to get a Santa picture, it goes something like this....
The children beg and beg and beg and beg, "Can we pleeeeeeeeeease go see Santa?" So, thinking it would make a cute picture that we would treasure forever, I cave in and say "Of course we can! That sounds fun!" And so we go. And we stand in a long line. And they are so excited. Until it's our turn. And then they refuse to go anywhere near the big red guy. And they cry. And wail. And scream. And then I look like the parent who just had to have a Santa picture, even if it meant torturing my kids.
So at some point we just stopped going all together, even with the begging. And you know, they don't even ask anymore.
They are perfectly happy to just smile and wave. From a distance.
It was just not worth the stress it was causing. I have enough trouble just trying to get a single Christmas picture with all four of them looking halfway decent at the camera all at the same time.

Anyway.......after the awkward elevator ride, we did a bit more looking around. At all sorts of things, including some very interesting people.

And only one time did *someone* in our group have a meltdown. (Maybe I should've taken a picture of that to show to Santa. Hmmmmmm.....)

But to tell the truth, an outing to the mall, with one parent and four children, on an extremely busy shopping weekend, that resulted in having more fun than meltdowns is, in itself, surely a Christmas miracle.

Ornaments

It's really late and I am sitting in a quiet living room, staring at our Christmas tree. Sitting in here at night, with only the lights from the tree on, is so peaceful and pretty.

I love all of our ornaments, and if you lined them up in order, you can almost see a snippet of our family history with each piece.

Right before I got married, many years ago, my sister and I headed out for a before-dawn-after-Christmas sale, where I purchased a million and one ornaments for a whopping 75% off, knowing I would use them on our very first "married couple" tree. We had such a fun time fighting off crazy early morning shoppers, but mostly just being together. And the next Christmas, I hung every one of those little things on our first tree. We still use them today.

And then, of course, as the years have gone on, our family has collected various pieces that we proudly display every Christmas. Many of the latest ones, of course, are handcrafted by the shortest people that live in our house - and they are quite special.

I have the most precious memories of putting up our tree as a kid, and hearing my mom tell about the ornaments we hung.

And today, just as back then, every ornament has a story.

Tonight, my eyes are drawn to this little one.

Not long before my grandfather passed away, he gave me this as a gift. I was told that he made them for each of us grandchildren. My Poppy was an extremely special man, so this last gift from him is very important to me. I'll cherish it always. On the back is stitched in tiny letters, "To Terri, From Poppy"

If someone else came into our home, they might comment on our tree or the decorations that fill the room. And if asked, I would tell about some of our favorite pieces. But it would never mean the same thing to them as it does to me and our family.

Our tree, with its twinkling lights, tells a story. It tells our story, with bits and pieces of days past and days present.

And for some reason, tonight, I am reminded that people are a lot like those ornaments.

Just like the pieces hanging on our tree, behind every person, highly ornamented or plain and simple, there is a story. A story waiting to be told. A story worth hearing, if we will take time to listen.

10 Things I Learned on My Recent Airplane Trip With My Four Children

1. If you are pushing a stroller, you get to enter security through the wheelchair lane, which is typically WAY shorter than the regular security check line. That is a plus. Unless, of course, you get stuck in line behind a large group of wheelchaired elderly folk who have to be individually searched one. at. a . time.

2. If you are pushing a stroller while exiting the plane in Shreveport, please note that it is pointless to put your child IN the stroller and hang your bags on the handle. As soon as you enter the building, you must go up a long flight of stairs, carrying your stroller, your bags, and, oh yeah, your 30 pound child that may or may not be throwing himself around so he can get down to go back outside to see the planes.

3. It's not a good idea for a two year old to have Frosted Flakes on the plane. (And I feel compelled to add that I didn't give him Frosted Flakes. He stole them.)

4. The seat cushion is attached to the seat with really strong velcro that makes a horribly loud sound when the flight attendant has to rip it off to clean the crushed cereal from the crevices.

5. It is indeed possible to change a dirty diaper of a standing two year old in the airplane bathroom while a crying five year old holds on to your leg. Not really fun...but it can be done.

6. People who tell you your kids are cute at the beginning of the plane trip tend to not speak to you at the end of the plane trip.

7. The airplane window shades are amazingly durable.

8. The seat cushion can be used as a floatation device. Or as a trampoline.

9. The same turbulence that makes adults cringe and have mild panic attacks will make children squeal with delight and beg for more. They actually enjoy it.

10. Row 29 will never ever be the same.

Heavy

Tonight I find myself wondering about so many things.
I wonder why some people are granted 100 years of life, others only a few hours or a few short years.
Today I lost a beautiful friend. A completely loyal friend who was also an all around wonderful lady, a devoted wife, and one of the best mothers I have ever met in my entire life.
I hate cancer.
My heart is broken for her precious family who has already been through so much and now has lost so much.
I'm catching myself looking at the suffering our own family has gone through in the last year as well. A different kind of heartache than the one I feel tonight, but a struggle none the less. Our struggle.
And at times, I can't see God in most of it.
And then I see Him in all of it. In the little things.
I guess it depends on which perspective I choose to have.
My heart is so heavy.

Only in Vegas

Miss Bittles and I were out running errands a few days ago. As we pulled up to wait at a red light, she started a conversation that went like this:

Her: Mommy. I think I want to move back to Texas. Too much weird stuff happens here.
(now while I completely agree with her, I had no idea what "weird stuff" she was talking about)
Me: Oh really? Well, you know weird stuff happens everywhere. Not just here.
Her: Well MORE weird stuff happens in Las Vegas.
Me: Ok. Like what?
Her: Like, outside my window. People climbing palm trees. That. Is. Weird!

And sure enough, I looked out and saw a strange little man, scurrying up a palm tree. Doing who knows what. And to top it off, that particular palm tree was just over the wall of the Casa de Shenandoah.

Nice.

Maybe she's right.
Cause where else would you ever see that?

The Fork

I found a silver fork in my purse.

Let's just say a certain restaurant in town could be missing a utensil.

That's what happens when you put your purse under the two year old's highchair while dining out.

When I found it, I removed it from my purse and it somehow found a home in the middle console of my vehicle. And it's still there. Weeks later.

I thought about taking it out, but it just comes in so handy.

We've used it many times already for various purposes: opening toys, poking a hole in a tag for a gift bag, and waving harmless threats at people who cut me off in traffic. And who knows what else we might need it for.

I guess in some ways, it's not so bad to have a fork in the road.

Fish

We have acquired a couple of new pets.

Miss Priss wanted a fish for her birthday. Given our history with fish, I was a bit hesitant, until she stated that she just wanted a betta. Easy to care for, and not very expensive to get set up. And provides hours of entertainment. So we did it.
With all of the new fish excitement, the other two girls decided they would put their money together and get a fish too. One fish that they could share. We'll see how that goes.

I went along with the idea because they have been consistently begging for a dog, and I'm hoping that the dog begging will subside for a while if they have some sort of pet to care for.

So we went to get their fish. She's blue and was given the name "Blueberry Anne", which suits her perfectly.

All was fine until we transferred her to the new little tank. At which point she jumped right out of the net and onto the table. And flopped around. While all four children stared in horror and began screaming.

Almost as if in slow motion, I reached down with my bare hand and picked her up and dropped her safely into her bowl. Something which I would never do if I had time to put any thought to it. But in certain fish emergencies, you just do what you have to do.

Once she was in her bowl and before we knew what was happening, the boy child stuck a plastic spoon DOWN IN THE BOWL and stirred the water around, swiping the fish's tail as the girls once again screamed in horror.

I'm really not sure we were meant to have fish.

We closed her container and put her just out of reach so she could recover from her traumatic entry into our family. And so far today, Blueberry Anne is doing just fine and swimming appropriately. Though she is a bit skittish when anyone gets too close. But I don't really blame her. I just hope she lives through the weekend.

Maybe a dog would be easier. Or at least have a better chance of survival.

Ten

Ten years ago, this week, I became a mom.

For as long as I can remember, that's what I have wanted to be.

Despite my preparation and excitement, I have the clearest memory of sitting in my hospital room, on the day we were to go home, and holding that sweet baby girl. The nurse came in and told us we could leave. My husband and I exchanged a look of "OH MY GOSH. SHE IS SERIOUSLY LETTING US TAKE THIS BABY HOME?...... BY OURSELVES??"

We look back and laugh at how panicked we were over every little thing. She was sooooooo tiny and helpless.

And loud.

She had colic for the first three months of her life, which brought on a huge amount of challenges. And she never slept for more than 15 minutes at a time for most of those first three months.

Thankfully, at month four, she snapped out of it, and became such a fun little thing, sending a huge wash of relief over us all.

Even now, ten years later, she's still pretty loud, and doesn't sleep nearly as much as I'd like her to.

But she's pretty special.

She loves to take care of her sisters and brother.

She loves to clean and organize.

She loves to read her Bible and tell me what she's learned in her devotional.

She loves to sing.

She has a special heart for making sure that everyone feels included.

And she loves to hang out with me.

I know that last one will soon be overtaken with friends and activities as she gets older and older, but I love our times when we get to hang out - just the two of us.

So, for her birthday this year, she wanted to do a Mommy Date Night. So that's just what we did. And we had a blast.

Making beautiful memories.

I can't believe she's ten years old.

Being There

I spent a large portion of the day today outside on the field at the girls' school.
It was Field Day, of course.
And the schedule of events, as it were, planned for the older kids of the school to enjoy their time on the field for 2 hours of the morning, and the younger kids would take 2 hours of the afternoon.
Now, since I have one of each enrolled at the school, we spent 4 hours on the field, plus a little extra time at the end of the day before we could leave.
It was a loooooong day.
And it was sunny and warm, making it a perfect day for Field Day, but making me extra tired.
Not that that's anything new.
Now when I was in school, we had Track and Field Day, where you had to sign up for events and compete against your classmates. And the winners got blue and red ribbons, and everyone else got participatory ribbons. I have a ton of the formerly mentioned ribbons stashed somewhere at my mom's house.
But it's different here. Or maybe everywhere now.
Today, the kids just played games with their classmates outside, rotating from one event to the next. And there were no winners or losers, but just kids playing. It was really fun.
Being there for such a long time, I was able to do a lot of observing. Mostly of my kids, but behind my sunglasses, I could see quite a number of interesting things. Most of which I will not mention on here.
My oldest, I got to see completely NOT paying attention to any of the games, even though she was right out in the middle of them all. For the most part, she just laughed with her friends, twirled her hair, and danced to the music that was playing.
I did get to see her taking special care of a little guy in her class that has special needs. I hear about him all the time, but had never met him until today. It was precious to see my girl looking after someone who needed extra help and treating him like he was her best friend. It made a momma proud.
Later on in the day, the 8 year old was in full force.
She, unlike her sister, was completely into every game, and paying careful attention to every move made by her own team as well as her opponents.
She's my little athlete.
I watched her run as hard as she could, laugh with her friends, and be a great helper for her teacher.
And ironically, neither one of the girls got in a fight with anyone. They didn't argue or talk back. They didn't tattle or even talk ugly to anyone. And I even caught them BOTH sharing. That's right. All things that I try my best to teach them, but just don't see a lot of...at home. I'm glad to see that they really know how to do these things.
Anyway, both girls were so glad that I was there. And thanked me many times for coming.
It's funny.
I wasn't helping at any game.
I wasn't passing out popsicles or changing the CDs.
I wasn't even that noticeable. (well except for the overstuffed stroller I was pushing and the two children I carted around with me all day.)
I was just there.
Watching.
Waving.
Smiling.
And it occurred to me in a strong way today, that sometimes...
being a mother is just being present.
Just being there.
And that made the whole day worth it.